Nie Boj Sie, Tylko Wierze! Do Not Fear, Only Believe!

January 26, 2015 

Dear Family,

Its been a pretty good week. Working to the bone as usual. We have been tracking down a lot of less actives on our branch list and trying to keep balanced. Our investigators have been super busy this week so we didn't have a chance to meet with a single one, which was a huge bummer, but I have high hopes for the future with all of them. It is all in the Lords hands.  

I got a bad cold last week, that I just haven't been able to shake quite yet. I should have just taken a day to rest it out when it started getting bad, but I felt guilty for not working and now here I am a week later still coughing my lungs out. I just about lost my lung a few minutes ago when I was coughing and from the dirty looks coming from the people around me I was worried they were going to boot me from the library for being too loud haha. Polish people don't really go out if they are even in the slightest sick, thus everyone looks at me like I have the plague. Oh well:) 

Hmm, what else did we do this week. The gracious Kosanoviches has us over for dinner on Tuesday. Then Wednesday we helped Sister Kosanovich peel like 50 kilo's of apples for apple sauce again. Goodness I love that family! 

I really just appreciate this time on a mission so much. I am forever grateful. I was preparing to teach a lesson the other morning and turned on some Bible videos for ideas. As I watched scenes from Christ's life and ministry play I was just struck with a deep reverence, love, respect, and belief in the Lord Jesus Christ. I know that He lives! There is something deeply personal and peaceful about having such a surety that this is His gospel on the earth today. This is the one true church. I have always believed, had the faith, the testimony, but that conviction makes a world of difference. The key is just trying to always remember it, keep feeding the flame; never let it die. Missions are hard stuff, they take great courage. I love this saying so much in Polish, it is my personal theme now... Nie Boj Sie, Tylko Wierze! It means, do not fear, only believe! Have the courage to always seek the light and share it with others. Eternity is effected by the small choices we make every day. 

I am hopping a train this evening and am off to Lodz on exchanges. Hope that you all have a wonderful week! Love you all. 

Siostra B. 

Winds of Change

January 19, 2015

Hey Family,
Yet another week has passed in the mission field somehow. Something really cool is that I have gotten to play a lot of soccer recently. The elders are working with a couple of less-actives who love to play, thus when there is a game and they need people, they always call Sister Benson because she knows how to get her game on. Actually I am pretty out of shape right now, which hopefully I will be able to change. haha. We shall see.
I finally got sick this week. I always gloated because I am never the companion to get sick, but the sore throat and cough finally caught up with me this week. Not that I have time to deal with that at all right now. I am in a group of singers for the special zone conference with Elder Charles (one of the area authorities) this upcoming Saturday, thus I am going to need my best singing voice.
The work is going well in this part of the vineyard. Winds of change are starting to sweep over the mission, for which I am very grateful. We were trying to instill such a positive mindset with the Elders and Sisters in the past couple of weeks, but then I hit my own rut. Now I am in the process of repenting and changing. The mission doesn't change until the missionaries start to change. Satan has been working so hard on the missionaries right now, because I believe we are on the verge of something great! I believe Poland has the potential to be the stronghold of some of Europe's strongest saints. It’s been a learning and growing experience to watch myself flounder and not know how to help fix things. But this week I am recommitting to do better. I don't ever want to be mediocre again. The more I study the gospel the more my understanding increases. Serving a mission has been the best decision of my life. And I especially can't wait to see what the coming year brings.
Love Siostra Benson

Progression

January 12, 2015
Dearest Family,This week I officially got registered in Poland, I even called my landlord, and did the paperwork by myself, (with the instructions from the office haha). Then I marched down to the state urzad and got my Zameldowania (registration). Now that is something I never thought I would be doing a year ago. We have been teaching a lot of investigators and recent converts lately, and my goal for this next week is to find someone new to teach. We are teaching some really amazing girls right now. It is quite a privilege to get to meet with and teach so many interesting people every day. Missionary work is amazing. Progression is key. Not just as a missionary, but as a Child of God. You don't have to serve a mission to continue to progress (but let me tell you it is excellent for whopping you into shape), and it is part of our heavenly fathers plan that we have the opportunity to change and become better thanks to the atonement of our Savior Jesus Christ. I love my Savior, I know that He lives and Loves us more than we could ever know. The price for our Salvation was not cheap, so let us never take it for granted. Honor it every day, grow, and progress everyday! Love you all and have a beautiful week.
 Love, Love, Love,Sister Ellie Benson

Blackout Year!!!

January 5, 2015 

Dearest Family,

Technically the title of this email doesn't apply because I won't spent exactly 100% of 2015 in Poland, but heck it is close enough. This is going to be my year of change in the mission field. I want to make as many positive changes in my life in the next year as possible. The crazy thing is looking back on the past six months and knowing that it is completely possible. Thus I am going to count it as my blackout year! Bring it on baby!

So many things happened this week, and we don't have much time today so I will keep it brief. I left MLC training last week so inspired. A change happened in me and I couldn't wait until I could share the vision with my zone. On Tuesday we did zone training with most of our zone here in Warsaw and it was amazing. I thought I had learned a lot in preparation but I think as we were able to present I learned even more.  It was probably one of the most powerful meetings of my mission. I know that the stereotype of this mission can change, but only if each individual can change their self first which is the difficult part. Good thing it is a new year, and every day brings a new opportunity to change and be better. Actually sometimes I find myself waiting for that new dawn every day to start over and change. But because of the atonement of Jesus Christ we never have to wait to make those changes, we can start anew and recommit every moment. It is not just enough to be satisfied with where we are at, we must always push for change and becoming more prepared to meet the Savior and our Heavenly Father.

On Wednesday we got to spend New Years Eve at the mission home with President and Sister Edgren and the Warsaw missionaries. Yeah, we Warsaw missionaries are pretty dang blessed, or as the outlying cities call it... spoiled haha! Much to everyone’s delight and surprise President and Sister Edgren somehow got the film Meet the Mormons to watch. It was amazing, especially since I thought I was going to have to wait another year to see it. The hilarious thing was watching some of the Elder's cry when the football scenes came on haha. It was great! We have the best Mission President and mission family ever!!!!

Love Sister Benson

Called to the Harvest

December 29, 2014 

So much has happened this week. Wednesday we spent the day with half of the mission here in Warsaw for Zone Conference which was incredible. I will never forget Elder Fotu unwrapping that Babcia cart during the white elephant gift exchange. Then Christmas day we got to have breakfast with my district and get together later with all of the Warsaw missionaries, plus a few others who lingered from Zone Conference and play American football which was a blast. That evening we got to spend with the wonderful Mastroianni family skyping and just enjoying Christmas.

We went in on Friday and stayed the night then trained for most of Saturday. I haven't had a spiritual whooping like that in a very long time. This training is not just going to change my mission, it is going to change me and I am so excited.

President Edgren truly has a vision for this mission, and it is the same vision that the Lord has for the missionary work all over the world. Just because this is the Poland Warsaw mission, does not mean that God has not prepared people and great things to happen here just as he has in different missions all over the world. People need to know that this is an incredible mission, that the missionaries here have a new vision and the work is about to change. People have always talked about Poland as the country that “someday” will have the gospel message spread throughout the land and “someday” there will be a temple here.  It’s always in the future, because we keep treating it like that. The day is today! We are working to change the vision out here of what we can accomplish personally as missionaries, and we need you out there to be helping boost that with words of confidence, positivity, support, and prayers. Together, we are going to help build the Lord's kingdom here.

I just want you all to know that I love this work. I love this people and I am grateful everyday to be able to be a representative of my Savior Jesus Christ. I used to count the days of my mission, now I just try to make every day count. A year ago I was sitting home during Christmas break, so unsure of where my journey would lead, still trying to decide if I wanted to serve a mission. Little did I know that here I would be a year later in the beautiful country of Poland, forever grateful that I took that huge leap of faith and clicked send on those papers. That leap of faith have changed me forever. Another year from now and I will be finished with my work here as a missionary, and my main goal now is to see how much growth I can make in that amount of time. This gospel is true, it all really happened; deep down if you have put in the honest effort you cannot deny it! I encourage you all to take some time in the coming months and new upcoming year to deeply consider your personal relationship with God. No matter where that relationship stands, continue to seek for the hand of God in your life and evidence of a loving Savior. I promise you as their representatives that you will find the truth. He lives, and knows each personally, I so testify always!

Have a great week, and Happy New Year!

With Great Love,

Sister Ellis Benson

Merry Christmas From Poland!!

December 22, 2014 

Dear Family,

So, yeah I am going to just be straight up honest here, it’s been a brutal week, yet, there has been a lot of growth and pieces of tender mercies as well. Last Monday I said goodbye to Sister Tobler, then after that is was a flurry of five different companions and lessons until I picked up my new companion on Wednesday. The rug kinda got ripped out from under me with that one. I never appreciated Sister Tobler enough, she did so much! I went from riding shotgun to in a period of two days taking over everything. We kinda put off the goodbyes until the night before because we wanted to focus on our work, but then before I knew it, she was gone. Everything feels different now. I remember her quiet yet firm example everyday in everything I do. Gooness I miss that woman! Tuesday was a tender mercy from the Lord because I was feeling really bummed and overwhelmed plus we had two lessons with Polish members to teach. In those two lessons, a miracle happened. I have never spoken such beautiful, understandable Polish in my entire life. I do not even know what happened, I was able to understand almost everything, and I could just speak for the first time in a long time in Polish. It felt so good. It was such a blessing from the Lord! That helped to uplift me and boost my confidence before everything fell apart after that. I went from so confident and ready to so humbled and brought low in such a short amount of time.

Wednesday we went in for training before we picked up our trainees. Most of the stuff they were talking about for trainers was still stuff I don't know or am in the process of learning. It was pretty overwhelming. I was praying so hard that entire day. Then next thing you know, I was in the captains seat. My trainee's name is Sister Johnston and she is from Texas. I actually met her the night before when we took the new trainee's out on the Rynek their first day to go contacting, and I knew from the second I met her that she would be mine. She is super sweet, understanding, and I love her already. She is so good at just rolling with the flow; I love it.  Sometimes I even forget that she has only been here for just a few day's because she is so good at just going with it. Her first name is Ellen, but everyone calls her Ellie, just like me! We have had an interesting week!

I guess mainly I am just trying to get everything figured out. The burden of responsibility is pretty crushing, but so many elders and sisters have been so good about reaching out and offering me love and support. I mainly just feel so overwhelmed and inadequate, so frustrated by primarily my inability to speak the language, and also not knowing how to deal with tons of stuff. I had that one good day of speaking the language, being able to give an entire lesson, to the next day not being able to do even a lesson in English the next. I feel like all of the work that we have been building up in this area is going to fail because of my lack of experience and knowledge and it just is so stressful and frustrating. I am my trainee's lifeline, yet half the time I am looking for my own lifeline to save me. That is when it comes down to turning to the Lord. I don't think I have ever worked harder in my entire life for such an extended amount of time from 6:30 a.m. to 10:30. The Lord pretty much has to carry me through every single day somehow. We have been working with so many fantastic people lately that I have just been so scared of failing because of my inadequacies. My fear has been trumping my faith which is never a good thing. Honestly though, it can only go up from here I hope. I may not speak Polish, but in training, we learned that a trainers job is not to teach the language, it is to teach the trainee how to be a good missionary. I may stink at everything else we are trying to do right now, but I know that I can set the example/ standard and pray for the Lords help with the rest. It's been probably the hardest thing I have ever done. There has been a lot of long sleepless nights. But I know that the Lord and President Edgren know better than I do, and they called me to do this not because I would fail, but learn how to succeed. I just have to keep that in mind. Keep me in your prayers.

Other activities of the last week. We caroled on the Rynek in the pouring sleet last night. Sister Johnston didn't find that half as halariously fun as I did haha! And then, poor Sister Johnston, we spent her second day with 8 hours of contacting and tracting. We also had a really cool lesson with our investigator Molly. Yeah so much has happened I don't even remember. I am so excited for this next week though. Wednesday we have Zone Conference on Christmas Eve, and half of the mission is coming into Warsaw for that. Christmas day we get to have breakfast and play sports, then of course skype our families that evening. The day after Christmas I get to go into the mission home and stay the night for MLC (mission leadership conference, STL stuff) and then prepare for Zone training next week. It is going to be a good week. Anyways, I am so excited to talk with you all. Bensons sure can do hard things! I am super bummed about Kaiser, he was a good friend, more like a member of the family for so many years. I really will miss him! Love you all, have a very Merry Christmas. Though this year of Christmas is so different than any other I have ever had, I don't even care. All I care about is my beautiful family back home. Other than the most important gift of Christ all of those years ago, you are my most precious gift this year. Talk to you soon.

Love,

Siostra Ellie May

Lord Lead Thou Me On

December 15, 2015 

Dearest Family,

I cannot begin to explain what a week it has been, so much has happened. Every extreme of the emotion scale has been experienced this week. So much happiness, joy, and excitement, yet so bittersweet, scary, and nerve wracking. Today was a really hard day. This morning I dropped my dearest Sister Tobler off. She has had a profound impact and influence on my life, and she is and always will be one of my best friends. I will miss her more than words can express. These past four months together have been unforgettable. Not only was she my trainer but I have relied on her for everything for two transfers, it was hard to let go.

So on for the news that I know you are all dying to hear. I knew all week long that I would probably be staying in Warsaw and be with someone from my MTC group. I thought I had it all figured out. I waited all Saturday for my transfer call from President, then finally late Saturday evening I got the news. First president has asked me that I stay in my area and become the Sister Training Leader of my zone. Well, umm, that was a surprise. Then he asked me to train!!!! I am going to be a trainer. Umm what! I was legitimately shocked and so surprised! I really couldn't believe it. I was immediately struck with equal amounts of excitement and terror. What a humbling opportunity this is going to be. I cannot believe the amount of confidence and trust that the Lord and President Edgren just entrusted in me. I never thought I would be training so soon in the mission. It probably doesn't sound like a big deal to train to others outside this mission, but it is a huge responsibility, especially with so difficult a language.

Regardless of how much of a surprise that was to me, I feel very blessed and humbled to have been given this opportunity. This next transfer is going to be a time of great growth, I have no choice now but to spread my wings and fly. Sister Tobler didn't know about any of this, yet she has prepared me so well. I look forward to the great amount of time I know I will be spending on my knees with my Father in Heaven in the next few months. I have no choice but to now just have courage and use the language. It’s pretty awful Polish but I’m going to work really hard. I exchange companions four times in the next three days until Wednesday morning when I get to pick up my trainee at the mission home. I am so excited, Lord lead thou me on and let the journey begin.

So regardless of that big news, so much else has happened this week.We visited so many members and investigators so that Sister Tobler could say her goodbyes. I hope that someday I will have the privilege of loving and helping so many people in the same way she has, love is so key in this missionary work. We spend last Monday on the Rynek looking around, shopping, tasting, it is so beautiful at Christmas time! Thursday we went caroling with all of the missionaries of Warsaw on the Rynek, it was so cool. There was about half of us singing and then the other half contacted those who stopped to listen! On Friday we took our culture night as a district. I absolutely love my district family from this transfer. They are some of my best friends and biggest support here! We went and got dinner at a famous Polish Naleszniki place called Manekin. Yumm so good! Then we went to a trans-harmonic symphony in a big concert hall. So cool!

Saturday was also a huge day for my comp and I. Sister Tobler and I had a transfer goal of having two baptisms this transfer, well that happened Saturday. First Anita got baptized and guess what... Roza got baptized!!!! She is one of the coolest people I have ever met here! She has been an investigator for a couple of years and just recently was allowed to be baptized. She got baptized on Saturday at 11 in the morning. We are so happy for her! What a good way to send sister Tobler out the door because Roza was one of her first investigators when she first entered the field. Roza is so helpful with missionary work, she has such courage, even before she was baptized she would come out street teaching with us. It was a beautiful baptism, and I feel privilege to play even just a small part in all of that. That evening we had our branch Christmas party and it was interesting to see that the Lord's kingdom is the same all over the world. So many people gathered together like a family, simply beautiful.

I am grateful to be a missionary everyday. I know that the Lord has a plan for all of us, and I know that the Lord will always stand by us and be with us. I love you all so much and wish you a happy holiday season. I pray for you everyday!

With Love,

Sister Benson